I just want to say, you know how in every thriller/apocalypse movie there's that one character that has the news playing in the background warning that the entire world is falling apart and then they just turn it off and go back to playing sudoku? That's absolutely me. If you think I've absorbed any dystopian thing that's happened in the past 2 years and haven't fully just been having an out of body experience this whole time, then you're underestimating me. Or overestimating me. Not sure which.
"Crack! The whip lashes out towards the lion in the ring. The lion roars and bursts into a wondrous flame. Your date smirks, eyes glued ahead and lurched forward, more enveloped than just impressed. Money is no object for you, but these seats cost a fortune."
"The blood is rushing to your head. Your feet are strung up on a hook as you hang upside down in the meat locker. You think about the monster that put you here and your heart begins to race."
"You crouch down in the dark, dripping cave. You’ve run for too long and your legs don’t feel like they’re yours anymore. The beast is here, you can hear it snarling. You think hard about how you’re going to do this…"
"Before you is a silver dish with a lid, the contents waiting to be revealed. There are 20 others at the table as well, a dish before them. On each dish are two names: The name of the person at the table that must kill you, and the name of the person that you must kill. "
"You lock your seatbelt and nod to the pilot. They nod back, as they prepare the vessel for lift off. In a few moments you’ll be in space, and that is where the mission starts."
"Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The person interrogating you has been out of the room for some time. Tick. Tock. Time is all you can think about, looking around and seeing the clocks that litter the walls. You’ve messed with forces you knew you shouldn’t have. Tick. Tock. Tick… The door opens."
"Before you is a mask, shaped in an odd way and made of thick oak. You know what this is for, and the thought both intrigues and terrifies you. Particularly because it is now yours."
Ryan C. Robert is the writer of multiple comedy blogs, most of which are satirical and self-deprecating. He writes about his life in his personal essay series "Before Color," parodies cooking blogs in "Trish's Dishes" and posts writing prompts every single day.