Modly In Love

​Dear Glork,
Prefer to remain anonymous, but I’m having a bit of trouble in my dating life. I was hoping to get the hero to deliver a love letter to a man in town, so that we can finally start our relationship. The problem is that I found out that not only has the hero already passed through town, but they've also modded the game to take the love of my life with them as a companion! AND made him more hairy and muscly in the meantime. How can I find true love now? Is there still hope for us even though he’s off saving the world? Help me, Glork!

Thanks in advance,
Modly In Love.

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Dear Mommy in love,
I am veary sorry to hear about all of this bad things happening in your life. Sounds like it is literally rterrible to be you and no one shold want to be you ever. Glork can sympathize but not understand becausse eveyrbody want to be Glork. 

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Ok so first do not worry about you bpoyfriend being modded. Glork loves mods. One time Glork had a mod to have laser beam eyes and it was graet Glork shot his lasers at everaybody especially at evil gold stealer Leota Gram. So that’s first thing is meaybe you can also get mods to fit in maybbe you get laser beam eyes too or laser beam ears or laser beam finngers whatever works for you.

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Next you do niot NEED to wait for a hero to ghellp you! You can ghellp yiurself, you are strong and have laser beam fingers which is good for when you need to walk across the whole entire worlds to find big beefy musclie boy with hairy feet to give a love ladder to like you said. 

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Third things is why are you guiving him a ladder is he that very short that he neerds a ladder to say hi to you and love you? Please ghellp Glork to funderstand the exact porpoise of a love ladder because it sounds terrible likke your life.

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​If you use al these tips Glork is sure this man will be your boyfriends forever but just don’t forget to invite Glork to sing at youer weddings because Glork needs the exposure to kickstaert his singeing career.

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As always,
Glork knows best you will listen to Glork,
Love,
Glork.