I need your wisdom in this moment. It is I, Illalleath. I’ve been peering into my altar at the temple between healing wounded adventurers and, lately, Glork… I just feel so alone. Then at night when I stare up into the sky at all the stars I can’t help but wonder about them. What do they mean? Why are they there? And then I start to think, are we the only ones out there? Or is there more? Are there Gods up above judging and planning and aiding us?
Glork, I need your guidance. I fear I’m starting to lose my faith.
Love and light,
Dear Pretty Small Face Healer Hands,
Glork has so many answers for you on this quaestion. But he will discuss the stars with you first. First of all they are too far away so that’s first things first. Second of all why are they so far away. Theird off all they are not close enough to here. Fourth of all are they made of jelly? We don’t know. Nobody knows until we eat them… Wow science is amazing.
I don’t think Glork and pretty healer hands girl should worry about the stars becasuse they are too far away to be scary. If the stars attacked it would take them maybe almost 2 days to get here and by then Glork and healer hands have built up many spells and weapons to kill the star and eat its experianc points.
But to answer your quyestion about gods of course wae are not alone. There is gods everywhere. Take for examples Gizzard Buzzneck, God of stinging people in thearr necks. If he is not here then why did Glork get stang in the neck yesterday by a wasp that wanted Glork’s jelly? Answer me that athemists.
Glork also knows about Bonegang DigDog, god of dog who buries bones in Glork’s backyard. He visited thin shell blacksmith boy shop yetsterday to yell so many barks to Glork, and normally I would be intimidated because Bonegang DigDog is a very big god, but Glork kept his composure and sold Bonegang three swords for all of his laergest barks. It was a very good deal and now Glork is rich in barks and not so rich in swords. Glork will need more swords.
There are many more gods for Glork to go on and on and on about like Zanzibar High Hair, Milkteeth the Devourer, Birdney Spars, Skullcrack Scatterbug, and Leafman. But Glork will nort bore you with very real very accurate hnistorical god stories. After all thease are the mysterious of the universe, but Glork has the answers of them and can share them over hot leaf water and jelly with pretty face healer hands if she wants. Just not during full moons that is when Milkteeth is at his most powerful and wants to feed on thin shell snappy claws blkacksmiths, so we hide under the greenest rocks. We nwill be safe from his milky teeth.
Glork knows best. You will listen to Glork.
Glork Squishwood is a Life Coach that specializes in helping other NPCs from RPGs reach their full potential. Glork, a Mantis blacksmith, was once trapped in the caves of Azurath, surrounded by an infestation of Nags. After a hero walked by him, ignoring his side quest, Glork decided he wanted to pursue a career in Life Coaching, to encourage other NPCs to become independent and less reliant on untrustworthy heroes.