The Totally Logical Fear Of Your Body Falling Apart
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Simple Starters: Cereal Done Right

12/4/2018

1 Comment

 
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     Some days don’t call for an extravagant 20-ingredient dish for each meal, and today is that day. We had so much leftover food from ordering delivery last night (roasted potatoes and peppers for me, half of a chicken patty left for Antoinav, and for Saarthrul the left hand of the delivery boy that didn’t read our Grubhub instructions and bypassed the circle of salt surrounding our home, which protects others from Saarthrul’s boundless desire to feed.) And with all that food left, this seemed like the perfect morning for a deliciously understated start to the day. “When you go big the night before, go small the day after!” My aunt always used to say that, followed by, “keep breakfast light to keep the waist tight.” She was a cooking-catchphrase slot machine. 
​     This morning I’m making a classic three-ingredient oh-so-delicious meal that will WOW anyone that you’re having over, especially if it’s an overnight guest that you’ve served a large meal to the night before, (TRISH’S SUGGESTION: Pasta with a bolognese sauce) or one that you had to console throughout the night because she kept hearing Saarthrul’s breathing coming from the floorboards, whispering that the charms we gave her would not hold him off for long and that her time within her own flesh is running thin. And that’s the keyword of this post: RUNNING. No one wants to walk away from a breakfast feeling like they can’t move, and this recipe is going to give you the energy to bounce out the door and to the nearest consecrated woods for a brisk morning jog!
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     The first thing you’ll need for this is a box of your favorite cereal. My suggestion is Corn Flakes, but Antoinav is partial to Lucky Charms. I personally don’t get it, because the marshmallows are far too sweet, but to each his own! Pour in a healthy serving with just enough room at the top to drop in our next ingredient: FRUITS!
     
If you’re my husband, you’re a banana guy. If you’re me, you like strawberries. If you’re Saarthrul, you’re partial to jackfruit for its meaty texture. Everyone likes something different, but we can all agree that fruit on top of your cereal is MM-MM good! Do want! So slice up some of those fruits and lay them across the top, neatly and instagrammable, before moving onto the final step. (OPTIONAL: If you want, at this point you can also add a dash of sugar. I found that with the fruit it’s unnecessary, but Antoinav hasn’t encountered anything too sweet for him, so he adds it. Saarthrul is known to put powdered sulfur on his to strengthen his ability to travel through living flames, which adds a nice eggy flavor to it. Great for breakfast treats. Personally, I leave this step out!)

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    What doesn’t go well with a nice splash of cool, refreshing milk? Nothing if you’re a country girl like me, that’s for dang sure! So pour out that milk to your heart’s delight! I’ve had people tell me to go easy on the milk​ to stop the cereal from getting soggy, but mine usually isn’t in the bowl long enough to ever see that happen. At least not with this DANGEROUSLY DELISH: THREE-INGREDIENT TRISH DISH! Enjoy, Trishinators!!!
​INGREDIENTS:
1 bowl cereal
1 cup fresh fruit
(optional: dash of sugar or spoonful of powdered sulfur)
¼ cup of milk
1 Ludwig instagram filter to make that fruit really POP!
TRISH’S RATING: 10/10 corn flakes

ANTOINAV’S RATING: 12/10 lazy husbands, since he got to relax in bed while I made it, even though this is totally something he could’ve cooked himself!
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SAARTHRUL’S RATING: 0/10, since we ran out of powdered sulfur and tried to substitute in some nutritional yeast, resulting in Saarthrul being unable to withstand the heat of the living flame, burning him when he tried to return to the gates of hell to collect on a bounty of souls he’s owed. Next time, bud. <3

SKIPPER'S RATING: 0/10 milk bones. ("Not enough dog treats, ruff ruff!!!")
1 Comment
Mikey
12/4/2018 10:05:15 pm

Work of art

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    MEET TRISH:
    Queen of Food Blogs

    I’m Trish Vanhukinbus: Former iHop host applicant, turned rejected iHop host applicant, now spending all my time posting recipe blogs. I live with my husband, Antoinav Mcgillicuddy, our dog, skipper, and the ageless demon that’s possessed my and Antoinav’s only son, Saarthrul the Eviscerator. The four of us are a happy family living in a townhouse in Urbandale Iowa, surrounded by a circle of salt to keep Saarthrul from feeding on the flesh of those around us. Instead, we cook him extravagant meals at home, which we post here for your viewing pleasure! Enjoy our recipes as well as our and Saarthrul’s ratings on each one. Muah!

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