T H E E N D L E S S H A R V E S T

Hey guys, Trish here! You may have noticed that I didn’t put up a post last week and thought, “There goes Trish, up to her old tricks forgetting to post!” But that’s not the case. Things have just been so busy the past week or two with everything going on that I haven’t had the time to really throw together a rockin’ recipe like normal. We had Christmas, then New Years, then preparation for the Endless Harvest. Luckily the rise of the Super Blood Wolf Moon means that by the combined efforts of Yunaleth and Saarthrul, the Endless Harvest was a success! Which means my kid really did do his darndest to bring an end to mankind! SO PROUD. So I thought this week, instead of a recipe, I’d lay out some hot tips on what to do when the crawling shadow comes to your door and promises you oblivion.

TIP 1) Do your research.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to do your research beforehand on which demonic horde you wish to serve if they choose to spare you. There’s plenty of good choices, but only one that will end up truly working for you. For example, if you’re not a morning person you might want to go with the Nogroulliath Nightkeepers. They are the hooded death that stalk the streets after dark searching for lost children to feed to the shadows. They’re also fantastic at game nights. Don’t invite a pair of them over to play balderdash unless you’re ready to lose.

TIP 2) Know your worth.

I cannot tell you how many people I’ve spoken to since the Endless Harvest has begun that aren’t prepared to negotiate when Yunaleth the Shadow Mother comes to their door to demand their eternal soul. Can you believe a poll I took of all my closest friends showed that 95% didn’t even try to negotiate with She Whom The Light Fears? My suggestion is to negotiate based on comfort and don’t be afraid to go high with an offer. If you want a throne in the shadow kingdom of Naburath, ask for one! What’s the worst that could happen, that she dislocates her jaw and extends her mouth-pincers to stun you while she reaches into your chest and removes your still-beating heart while you’re fully conscious and can feel every scratch? No risk, no reward, baby!

TIP 3) Ask at least two questions.

This is the most important bit of advice that I have today. When the growing shadow comes for you, that is the best time to clear up any questions that you might have before entering into this eternal contract. You want to be informed! Start thinking up a few questions ahead of time. A few good stock ones I like to use are, “What are the opportunities for growth within your dark army?” as well as, “What do you find is the most challenging part about being an endless instrument of torment that has seized our world and will snuff out all of humanity one by one?” Use this time to really show that you’re an active participant in this reckoning. Trust me, they will appreciate it!

I hope that these tips are helpful to you as the Endless Harvest makes its way to your door, and let’s make 2019 a strong year for all of us doers out there! See ya next week, Trishinators!